Should there be appearance criteria for first class passengers?
As a former pilot and all-around bon vivant, I enjoy the luxury of frequent travel. I also happen enjoy the luxury of sitting in first class when I fly. For years I’ve enjoyed the company in first class. I love it because my seatmates tend to be well-groomed, highly successful, easy on the eyes, charming, etc. In other words, they live the good life and have EARNED the right to sit in first class.
Lately, however, I have noticed more and more people who look like they belong in coach cabin upgrading to first class via gimmicks like frequent flier miles or credit card coupons. These people tend to not only dress poorly and look unkempt, but more often than not they seem to be covered with pet hair and tend to reek of cigarette smoke. I’ve also noticed many of them seem to suffer from any variety of upper respiratory ailments and cough nearly constantly.
As a case in point, the last time I flew Boston to Los Angeles, a 300 pound woman with four chins and hair on her upper lip wedged herself into the first class seat next to me. Wearing a Cabo Wabo tank top, heather grey ***-vanisher sweatpants from Walmart, and camouflage Crocs, only an allergy-free blind man could fail to notice she was absolutely covered in cat hair. As soon as the plane lifted off, she began coughing uncontrollably for the next 45 minutes, eventually ejecting a small portion of green phlegm onto the seat back in front of her. Thus began my “flight from Hell”. In between coughing fits, she proceeded to recount her whole life story, breathing stale Marlboro Reds breath all over me with every syllabic, grunting utterance. She seemed intent on not only letting me know she was proud to be from the Inland Empire of California, but that she had been “hot” in high school as well. By Inland Empire standards, this may very well be true.
So, this begs a very natural question: Should there be some sort of appearance of eligibility screening for first class travel?
GOD bless you-
Captain Art Griego
Best Answer - Chosen by Voters
I can't believe you are a former pilot, you really are a class conscious person who only have eyes for well-groomed, highly successful (presumably) charming etc. people.
I don't believe any airlines would risk implementing such discriminatory requirement.
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